A talk with My Self

02:15am 05/21/14

“Hello? Why are you alone? Are you waiting for somebody?” He asked.

“No, i just want to sit here and let time pass-by.” He gave a faint smile.

“Don’t you feel lonely sitting here alone?”

“Well, kind of, but I’m ok. Don’t worry this is my usual routine.” He smiled

“Ok, can i sit here with you as well?”

“Ok, no problem.” He sat near beside me.

“How long?” He asked.

“Hmm. How long?” He asked to clarify the question.

“How long have you been doing this? How long have you been alone in this dark place. I can’t even barely see my hands.”

“I don’t really remember. I just sit here and my eyes learned to adapt in a dark place like this.”

“Oh ok.”

“H- How did you get here anyway? I’ve been here for so long but i never saw you pass-by here.”

“I don’t know as well. I’m just walking then here i am. Can’t really remember the path i’m taking, just walked in here and saw you sitting alone and looking so gloomy.”

“I don’t remember the road i came from as well. Its been so long that everything in here feels so comfortable to me that i decided to stay.”

“Hmm.”

“If you stayed here a little longer you might feel how comfortable it is in here. Almost feels like home now.”

“Do you like music?”

“Yeah, i even play guitar and bass, not that good but i know how.” He smiled

“Sweet! I tried learning how to play the guitar but i got bored when i felt that I’m taking too much time in learning it.”

“Just need a little more push and some breaks to learn it based on your own pace.”

“Thanks, I’ll remember that if i ever try it again.” He smiled.

“Don’t you get bored sitting here alone or miss some of your friends?”

“Sometimes, but, i just don’t want to leave. It became so comfortable that i got really attached to it.”

“Ok.”

“Do you travel or have long walks most of the time?”

“Umm. Nope, not much, i travel in faraway places less than having long walks. Feels so good walking while listening to good music, gives me time to think of the things i need to do or want to do. But most of the time i just do the things i want to do.

“Oh, same here. I often forgot the things i need to do.”

“Yeah, its just so hard to stop doing things that you want and harder when you get trapped in the cycle.”

“Yeah. That is why i felt so down because i can’t push my body in doing things i need to do. It’s just hard to escape the cycle. Procrastinate too much and you’ll be sitting here next to me.”

Silence. A few tear fell. He noticed.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I’m trapped in here. Trapped in here forever.”

Tears continue to fall.

“You could still stand and leave.” He said.

“I’ve tried, I tried a long time ago but I just came back here and has been sitting here for a long time.”

 

09:27pm 5/21/14

“I’m stuck, I don’t know what to do.”

“Why? What happened?”

Silence. A tear drop fell.

“Hey! What happened? Tell me.”

“I might lose something important and I’m at fault.”

“What are you gonna? Do you have a plan?”

“To be honest, I don’t know, I want to save it but I don’t know. I know Its my mistake but I don’t know what to do! I just want to disappear.”

Silence. Crying.

“I don’t know who to ask for help.” Cries.

“Sorry, I don’t know what to advice as well.”

“I don’t know what to do. I still want to keep it but it just might slip my hand because I’m not holding it firmly.”

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