I’m lost and scared

I’m scared, lost and panicking. I don’t know where I should go, I feel unsafe, unsecured, help me. I’m stuck in a void where I don’t know where I will stand. After all those things, I know it needs time to calm down; it needs space to rebuild what you were. You should crawl for a bit, then try standing up and walk then once you are good you can run, run as fast as you can. Where am i? How are things? Why can’t I see what I want? Help? Help!

The things I look at, makes me depressed but it is by your side; when you hug me, kiss me, hold my hands is when I feel a little bit secured. Keep me, keep me by your side, I’m all alone wherever this is I am in. I’m lost; once again, I tried didn’t I? I still try to search for that thing that you want but my mind is scattered, my thoughts are floating away from me. Trying to grab everything while you are in the water is harder than anything else. I tried swimming towards it but I still feel like I’m not moving anywhere. I’m not even floating, I feel like drowning, I’m trying to push myself upwards so that I won’t drown yet I’m still falling.

Should i let myself drown or try to save myself?