This is the first time that i feel sick just because of being stressed and i feel like i’m going to vomit. The source of my stress? My ex-girlfriend, she still texts me that she will go at my house especially during midnight, which fucking annoys me since the place is not very safe and i don’t her to be near me. That is the reason i threw away my old sim card, so that she will not be able to contact me. If you’ve read my past blog you will know the story. Anyways, i just don’t want her to be in danger, i’m still human so i still care but she ignores it especially when she is bloody drunk. I’m now pushing such kindness back since i can’t handle the stress and i really feel like puking. It is my fault but still there is a limit to it and it is now. I don’t want to be an ass and shout at her because i might really go to that point and it might be in public or i might face the worst, possibly hit her with something, continuously, til she lost consciousness or i lose it. I don’t want to reach that side of me, my stress is building up and it adds more that i might even harm her.
I’m really tired, really really tired. I just want to hug my angel and rest atleast on her knees to calm me.
I wish, that she will wake up and stop this acts and move on with her life.
I just wish, before i go dark.
I don’t really care in what other people’s sexual orientation maybe because they are still those who have a dick, vagina or has both testes and ovaries. I’m not a hater of homosexuals, although there are times that i don’t want to be near or be with some that are very terrifying to be with or just really irritating and insulting. This is my opinion, i know that a lot of you, some maybe has a bad experience with them or a part and a strong believer of the christianity and it’s other sectors.
I have a friend that is a homophobic, i know i shouldn’t change his belief towards them but he should not harbor so much hate towards them because there are some living of them living a good life. Most of such try to live their life standing and walking through a forest of uncertainty, holding themselves all alone but still bears no hate towards those who hate them. Yes! i know there are such that are really irritating to meet or even look at but still, they are human beings, made by an entity that we still have no idea. Some are lucky, since they are quickly accepted by those who care for them but others are not, especially here, in a country where christianity and its other groups is a majority for a religion and belief. I know that there are still countries that is being occupied by majority of the same religion. Some accepts such people, some push, insult, abuse and harm them. We have our different beliefs, different opinions, sides of our stories but we should still live in a peaceful community! Homosexuality is an issue in the PAST! Whatever the reasons of those who harbor such hatred in their hearts, i wish that they help the community their in better than those who that they spit at and step on everyday! Because a person that has no purpose in their community, that can’t help improve the way of our LIVING! should just SHUT THE FUCK UP rather than fucking hurting those who can help. Whether you are heterosexual or you have a different preference, you are to shut up if you have nothing good to say towards a group of people that you have not yet heard their individual stories, their struggles and mistakes in life. I don’t want a world where my children will live in a cage, i want them to be satisfied with the freedom that they are receiving and in return, they will not harm to those who has no intention of creating conflicts in this world and help those are in need. Help those people who cannot stand on their own, those who are lost and has no idea where they are, and those who just simply wants to help others as well (with their permission of course).
Let’s live in a world where there is diversity of people, whatever basis it would be. Let’s create a peaceful world since we will only stay here for a short time.
Start with lending a hand if you can help and not to start any conflicts that will harm you and other people.