SPARK A WAR FOR AN ISLAND?

A possible war will start because of an island within the vicinity of the Philippine area. Is it really worth the risk? No, If China wants the island maybe they should have it, do you know why i think they should have it? Because the officials in the Philippine government will not utilize whatever is in that island, the island will be just a piece of land that will never possibly used because it is there for a very long time and the government did not do anything about it til China gives interest to it. And we should remember, most of the factories that produce goods that we use or is needed in products that we use is mostly made in China and because of such industries in their area it creates tons of pollution that costs their people’s health. So taking one island that is not being utilized far from their vicinity of their nautical area can already be considered as an act of war since there are no documents of purchase or ownership. But why not just create deals, sell the island and prevent an impending war between large countries (Talking about the US and Japan). If this sparks a war it could be possibly a World War 3. Maybe giving or creating a deal for such an island is better than being greedy and unreasonable by both governments rather than starting a war that can be really devastating to everyone in this world.

Just my opinion on the matter. And i don’t really want a World war to start.

Thank you for reading. Any comments and other opinions are welcome.

Thoughts

Have you ever felt that little urge to punch something or someone then it grows to the feeling of ripping someones tongue out, bashing their head to the concrete wall til the powdered wall and blood mix together or just simply slicing every breathing human you ever see on your daily walks.

I feel those urges, almost every second in everyday. I just want to punch someone to the point my knuckles would bleed as well as the face of the victim. I want to purposely kick someone on the side walk to a moving vehicle. Or sometimes just hit the neighbor’s child that prefers to pee just right next to our small gate, i just want to hit her to death and when her mother comes i’ll feed her fresh meat forcefully to her. And if her grandfather gets mad, i’ll just say “I just simply removed your tiny problem, and i enjoyed in doing it so thank you for the opportunity” and smile and serve him the meat of his unwanted grand daughter.

I would rather point my rage to a human than to an animal, because they simple act by their instinct unlike us, humans, tends to do more and more of such shitty things. Someday, we’ll all stand up and kill each other. Someday, we will be the ones to burn every living tree and ;feed and waste on every plant crops that we will find and whine on how hungry we are til we kill each other for meat.

The cry of a baby that is not satisfied, how beautiful it is to my ear, how fun to hear and then i tend to imagine a scenery where the sky is red being covered by the large dark clouds. The image of people, lying on the ground, gasping for air and suffering from the excruciating pain. Some stab by the debris that fell on them and some burnt. Some may live, with scars on their bodies and inside their brain. Trauma that drives them to do more destruction or just simply run til they collapse. Run! run as far as you can, the flames may catch you and eat you once again.

When such things cross my mind, sometimes i just let them stay for a while and let them feed on the sad and dark thoughts. But sometimes i brush them off with a punch to the air or a wall.

It is just annoying how an individual have a community inside its head. We create such personas based from who we want to possibly be or from the people we met. Sometimes they are people that we don’t like but balancing the community is sometimes alright. Creating different thoughts, voices, weird ideas and just someone you could talk to. We create such societies inside of our head to satisfy ourselves since the society we live in is more likely bullshit. We live for money, so that when we have enough we’ll want more and more til we are drowning in it. Money gives us the purchasing ability to buy our needs and wants but we prefer to prioritize our wants more often. We buy expensive shoes that we will not use that much and just pile them up in a closet. Tons of perfume that tends to be irritating to the nose rather than pleasing. Money is the driving power in this world, if you don’t have money, you have no power.

And, this is all for the today. I lost my trails of thought and the result just scrambled up.

People in society

Yesterday, i read that there was a shooting tandem near our city and with this it just became scarier to travel. They shooters shot a bus, good thing there was no one hurt but what if they shot a jeepney where people can die.

Last night, A man went to a beer house to drink. I heard he went there to drank and eventually beat-up a person. She has a daughter, living with him and this man does not think of the consequences that may come to his family. She said that there was this one time that her father got into a fight that he is the one at fault. She and her brother got into such ruckus because of him.

People should really learn how to get along with others that they meet on the street. Whether we are in a beer house or simply somewhere with lots of people. We should control our moods and do nothing that may attract such problems.

My Dad always tell me that i should just not start any fights and be kind to others so that you can live your life peacefully. This is what i always keep in mind, because i don’t want bad things to attract my family, friends and my love. Keep a low profile or create a peaceful environment around you.

If such people tends to disrupts what we commonly do without good intentions then they should leave our society. They should stay in an island where there are no to disturb, isolate them away from society so that we, people who wants peace and harmony, can live nice and decent lives.

Just felt disrespected

I just want to share something in here on what i have experienced tonight. A very irritating experience for me.

My girlfriend and some of her girl friends went on drinking, after that she asked me to come there so we drank (although i did not drank too much since my belly is not feeling really well). After we drank, i walked my girlfriend with her cousin to their house. Then we unexpectedly encountered her father on the street, i greeted him a good evening but he said something but not feeling to write it because it is not that essential in the story. We walked and her cousin felt nervous to what might happen. I’ve met her father once but i did not introduced myself back then since i don’t know how to introduce myself to him (My mistake, i know) because we are not official by that time. So, back to the present day(or night) after that she asked me to wait on the street corner because her cousin just need to pee and after that i’ll walk her cousin home since its already dark. Then after a few minutes, i saw my girlfriend, her cousin and father walking together. So when they stopped to wait for me, i tried to approach her father and introduce myself and i tried to shake his hands as well but all he said “Huwag na, kilala na kita”(No need, i already know you) then i just walked to her cousin and we walked. I feel so irritated about that, he already know me? Is he stalking me? (Ooooh, must be a reader of my blogs 🙂 ) I don’t know, it is just irritating to experience that, i tried to approach him and introduced myself and i will just receive a response like that? feels like a slap on my face, a slap that is not worth the pain. I am more scared of people that knows how to be human, those who knows how to be a person and respect them even though they don’t deserve it. He already made me not to give him such respect even though she is the father of the girl i love. But still, yes, she is still the father of the girl i love and i should give him respect and i wish that her mother and other siblings will not be like that.

Thanks for reading. I want to know your opinion about such matters, please. i would like to read your opinions on such matters, whether it is negative or positive.

Sick, because of stress

This is the first time that i feel sick just because of being stressed and i feel like i’m going to vomit. The source of my stress? My ex-girlfriend, she still texts me that she will go at my house especially during midnight, which fucking annoys me since the place is not very safe and i don’t her to be near me. That is the reason i threw away my old sim card, so that she will not be able to contact me. If you’ve read my past blog you will know the story. Anyways, i just don’t want her to be in danger, i’m still human so i still care but she ignores it especially when she is bloody drunk. I’m now pushing such kindness back since i can’t handle the stress and i really feel like puking. It is my fault but still there is a limit to it and it is now. I don’t want to be an ass and shout at her because i might really go to that point and it might be in public or i might face the worst, possibly hit her with something, continuously, til she lost consciousness or i lose it. I don’t want to reach that side of me, my stress is building up and it adds more that i might even harm her.

I’m really tired, really really tired. I just want to hug my angel and rest atleast on her knees to calm me.

I wish, that she will wake up and stop this acts and move on with her life.

I just wish, before i go dark.

Depression, Kicking in!

Whether i stay at home or go outside, depression will always find its way to wake you up with a frown on your face and tears falling.

There are times that at home i feel so happy and full of life but the moment i go out of the house and see how this world has turned out to be, depression kicks in. As i’ve introduced myself, going out and seeing what the world has became does not help me to push through life, it just makes me want to end the life of the people i see and my life as well. Such scenes disturb the little bit peace in my mind so i try and avoid such people and situations but i still face them.

I want to eat the meat from the bodies i cut, bathe it on their boiling blood and stare at their heads and directly at their lifeless eyes.

But still, after those murderous feeling there is always a person to keep me calm, satisfied and at peace. An angel possibly. 😀

I failed, slipped, fell and stood up.

I failed, Slipped, Fell and stood up even though it is my choice that caused it.

Yep, i’ve done something unforgivable and i will keep this memory safe and remember it the next time. I failed to hold myself back, i let my self slipped to temptation and fell for it without even regretting it.

Yes, i’m an asshole, i’m just sharing what i’ve done wrong. Any comment is welcome no matter how rude it is, i deserve it. If you have any wisdom to share then i will thank you in advance, read and learn from it.

7 months ago i was still with my ex-girlfriend of 2 years and 10 months. She was my first girlfriend, i loved her so much and i enjoyed the company of her family so much. I’m still intouch with her brother, i broke up with her not with her brother. After we broke up i was vulnerable, i was weak even till this day i still remember the memories. My time with her is a part of my life now. Then i tried it with a girl who was willing to wait for me, I know, it was too early for that but i did not know how things will work out with us since we are studying in different schools, she is younger than me and we don’t really have much to talk about. I tried my best, gave effort to her unlike in the past. I really hate the form of courting a girl since i just don’t get the idea of what is the point in courting since you will end up as a boyfriend and girlfriend which is just dating and building things in a relationship to check if it wil be worth it to stay in it and get married. It really is an annoying idea but i still tried, for her since it is a part of her desires even though i told her that i’m not that kind of guy. I tried and tried. Oh and in the first months we only communicated through text and calls, still even so i gave her most of my time. Then she came back to our place since she goes in the school in our place even though she leaves far away. I gave my efforts, tried things but still all i felt was sad and disappointed. I was losing hope by that time with how hard it really is, i cried and cried every night thinking of how to catch her heart but it seems like i fail every time i try. Then my birthday came, she prepared a surprise for me, it is unbelievable that a person that has not much idea of who i am can do this for me. I was really happy and excited for the things she is giving me then she gave me her yes. Our relationship started, at first it was good. But we still tend to argue on things, tiny things turns to dramatic scenes, some misused words becomes a long discussion of arguements. It was tiring at that point but i still love her and did not gave up. Then, we tend to sleep together, even though sometimes she sleeps for almost 12 hours a day and i still gave her almost all of my free time since she likes being with me. I grew tired of this routine, i feel like i’m being chained since wherever i go she is with me and the only rest i have is when i’m at school. There was a time that an old fling of mine, back in the days that i was fooled by her, messaged me in my facebook account and asked for my number and i gave it to her. We texted for a little while but then i felt a shitty feeling with her since she wants to meet me by i need to have money so that we could go on a date. I don’t like to waste money on a person that talks like that, so i stopped texting and ignored her. i continued to live in such a routine but still there was still times that i’m happy with her. Then i had a conversation with a certain girl, she has a boyfriend by that time, we talked and talked then we flirted with each other. That was the first time i’ve done such a thing, flirting while in a relationship. I let my self slipped and fell for such an idea. We continued to do it, i enjoyed talking to her, being with her, it just felt so nice and calm. No need for worries, yet. This continued, till i broke up with my 2nd girlfriend of 3 months, i broke up with her since i cannot take it anymore. What i’ve done is something really new to me and i once hated from the people doing it. I know, it is wrong, but i still did it no matter how it feels and even though broke her heart. She learned of my doing and told me that it is okay and that she would still love me, i don’t want to continue on and i lost that love that i once felt for her. It is not the first time that we broke up, it was the third time so it hit me that once is a warning and reaching for the third time needs to stop. She did not want it to end like that and tried to convince me that we need to both agree on such matter but i want it to end. She talked to the girl and made a scandalous act, its a good thing that there were few people that saw such a scene. I felt sorry for her since i can’t be by her side since i need to drag my ex away and try to stop her. I had a discussion with my ex in their dormitory, we argued, she still wants to see me and wants me to spend the night in there with her but i don’t, i want to go home and sleep. She blocked the door, she was pissing me off, i stood up and push her away the door but she quickly guarded it again and slapped my face for about 7-10 times. I faced the slaps even though i know that it might trigger something inside of me. I’m almost losing my patience by that time and told her that “i don’t give a fuck about you!” then she slapped me again continuously. I’m almost losing it, i cried, i’m now afraid of what i may do to her after that. I just let all of my feelings out, she apologized but i rejected it since i deserve it. I told her that other people are lucky that they can release the feelings that are boiling inside them unlike me who just keeps it inside and let it rot there. I hate that i have a long span of patience, that i don’t have the guts to shout whenever i’m really in pain and just pretends that everything is going to be alright. Once i left, she quickly searched for a knife i guess, that was the first thing that i thought when she quickly searched for something so i came back and knocked on the door. She opened and i entered, looked in the dish rack and saw a knife. I told her that killing herself will not be anything worth doing and it will sadden her mother and might traumatized her sister. She was then convinced of it and went to her room. I quickly walked away from the dormitory and on my way to go home. I touched my cheeks and the pain was lost, its like it never happened. After a few days, she still annoys me with her texts but i just preferred to ignore it since i have nothing to say to her. I told her that we can still be friends but that maybe just worsen the situation. Being kind is freaking annoying.

Now, i spend most of the times with the new girl but she is still with her boyfriend but her conscience was kicked by mine. I think she enjoyed being with me more than being with him even though for a short time. She broke up with him the other day, but the guy still wants to try but her feelings was already gone. I don’t know what the guy will do, but if things will meet maybe i’ll openly receive a punch from him for the pain i gave him. Maybe, just maybe. Now, she is free to enjoy the time with me without any strings attached to us. I know such thing might repeat again or possibly gets worse but hey! this is life, it will happen if you choose it to happen. I’ll learn from the things that i’ve done. I can’t be forgiven for what i’ve done, I know.